Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
