my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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