nut hugger
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
