Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
