i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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