Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
