Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
my god I love twenty year old dicks
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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