drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
vagina is talking i cant
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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