that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
