Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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