shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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