who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think i scared a bird with my dick
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
