I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
