Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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