I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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