I wish i was in the wii world.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
