Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
