If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
