Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
