that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
