There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it penis luge time yet?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
