summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
