he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
