I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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