Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
