no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
