1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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