Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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