Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think your dad took our porno
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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