the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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