Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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