i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
