I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
