I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
