when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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