Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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