My brain says no but my pants say off.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
