I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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