I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize