love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just puked most of my soul out..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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