after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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