my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
