Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
