This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
