oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
