i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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