Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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