apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
