We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
