Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
