2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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