so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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