whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There are leaves in my underwear?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
