I must be too annoying 4 u.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
