I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize