If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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