would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
