somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
