did you get engaged???
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize